Down came the rain and washed poor Incey out... Darn. Washed away in a flood of water. He's pretty dishevelled now. You know how he looks in the cartoon pictures at this point right?
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. Incey is dry and the conditions are once again prime for pipe climbing.
So Incey Wincey Spider climbed up the spout again. Done and dusted. Hooray. The end.
Incey is one of our favourite nursery rhymes. My boy loves the hand actions. A few months ago God told me I'm like Incey Wincey. Actually, he said that we all are. I was thinking I had been chatting to him about suffering, as Incey sure suffered in the pipe incident. But then I remembered it wasn't about suffering, it was about guilt. I had been chatting with god about guilt and shame.
Nine months and three days ago I birthed a baby. Yes this post is going to be about babies again, but keep reading anyway because I'll get to the point soon! It was a big ordeal - the whole before birth and the actual birth and then the after birth dramas of ambulance trips, hemmoraging etc.
Being a mummy was what I had wanted for a long time and I adore babies, but it was a rough start and I wasn't really okay in the head for several months after. I had post traumatic stress issues, nutrient depletion affecting my brain, etc.
I wasn't a fun person to live with and I felt guilty and ashamed for how I felt and acted.
So i asked God about it and he told me about Incey Wincey. Incey Wincey fell down and everything was a mess. Out came the sun and fixed everything up. Incey went back up the spout again.
Basically God showed me that falling wasn't a big deal. I shouldn't focus on my failure. I shouldn't feel ashamed. God dries everything out eventually and we can get on with things! I felt like a total mess but God didn't see my broken behaviour and broken heart as a giant issue. Yes, I had fallen and gotten hurt, but I should just get up and keep going on with life. Incey's resolve is great. He falls down and gets back up again.
We often focus with a lot of concern on our "big mess". God says, "No big deal, keep walking."
I felt like he was saying that he doesn't see our failure and brokenness as a big deal because he can see the next part. He can see the healing: the sunny pipe climbing part.
Naturally I started to wonder about Incey's feelings. "But God don't you care that Incey suffered? Don't you care about his heart??"
But as usual my mind went to Jesus. He suffered. Paul. He suffered. Plenty of other bible men and women. They suffered. God cares that we suffer in our hearts, but that's just how it rolls when you live in the world. You suffer.
Keep going friends. Keep your eyes on where you are going and don't dwell on shame and guilt. Don't blow your mess, sin, failure or crisis out of proportion. No big deal. Seek God's perspective. Just keep climbing.
