This post was written and shared elsewhere in May 2023. I thought I'd add it here.
THIS IS NOT THE HARDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE - a birthday blog post by me 😉
Most people know my life has been pretty intense.
One day this week I was on my knees (as every parent of high needs kids does) asking God why why why did you give me these children?
And then I knew these kids are the big mission.
When I went though the fire I knew I was being refined and strengthened for something big.
I never knew what but surely it was some sort of ministry?
And suddenly I realise it’s parenting and homeschooling my children.
I hear parents of neurodivergent kids say, “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”
(And it is so SO hard. IYKYK.)
But I’ve been thinking about that this week because this is by far NOT the hardest thing I have ever done.
And because of that, I am okay. I’m not okay - there are meltdowns and tears and anxiety and guilt and exhaustion and a million questions. (And honestly this week I was ready to throw in the towel and send some little people to school.) But I’m okay.
Because God went before me. I went through the refining fire.
I totally believe we come to this earth to learn and grow. And this is my training ground. I was meant to do this. There are no mistakes.
Yesterday we opened the mail and there were our official homeschool registration certificates and cards for another year.
I’ve been in awe recently of how God went before me in homeschooling specifically.
When he put homeschooling on my heart before I even had kids, I had no idea we would be using the terms “ADHD”, “Autistic” and “Dyslexia” in our home. Yet he guided me to all the right resources, curriculums and ways of doing things before I had any idea what I was dealing with. Truly it’s been amazing to realise.
He goes before me.
So my feeling is that even though there are a lot of bad and good feelings, it all just FEELS right. As a whole life unfolding thing.
Something about this season makes me feel alive.
As I celebrate my 38th birthday today I’m feeling it.
We do say there’s no better place than on your knees totally dependent on God.
I guess I’m there in weak strength and expectation.
And I am incredibly thankful for my amazing children. And husband. And that through them the past year I have learned who I am. But that’s another story.
💖🌈🔥
