A few months ago I was house sitting with a couple of friends and before sleeping one of them prayed for me to sleep well and to have dreams from god. God answered that prayer!
The dream was vivid. I was in early labour. I knew I was having a baby but I was still going about daily life. I was at the library and needed to return a book at the counter so I asked a friend to return it for me. I was in pain but I was okay. I felt capable and controlled. A friend asked if i'd like her to come back to my flat (I had a flat?) with me while I had the baby. I thought that would be wonderful because I didn't want to have the baby alone. My husband wasn't in the dream at all - it was as if I wasn't married.
I woke the next day and knew it had been from God. There was a strong sense of capability in it - that I had been able and willing to ask for help where I needed it but had not been needy or dependant in a desperate way. I hadn't needed my husband, or been crying out for friends. They had been there to help but I was centred and self-confident. I was coping and I was okay.
I didn't have much awareness of an actual baby inside me in this dream. I was just having labour pains. I have dreams of childbirth sometimes but this one I felt was symbolic. A metaphor of the birth of my healed self - of transformation or new things, a new season, a butterfly emerging from a cocoon.
Though the birthing process was painful, I was coping and I was okay. I was incredibly encouraged by that. God was giving me a picture of what the healing process would be like for me. (I already was and am currently going through the process.)
The morning of the dream, I curled up on the couch in the house we were staying at and I read Romans chapter eight in The Message version of the bible. I had been reading it over and over again that week, taking in the truth of grace and 'no condemnation'. This time the next part of it jumped out at me. With tears in my eyes I read the words again:
"That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." (Romans 8:18-28 MSG)
Wow. I was so encouraged.
A few weeks ago I was having a hard time and my husband Thomas told me he felt God wanted me to read the book of John. I thought "Okay, I'll have a read." I flicked around in there for awhile asking, "God what are you trying to show me?" Then I saw this:
Jesus realized they wanted to ask him about it, so he said, “Are you asking yourselves what I meant? I said in a little while you won’t see me, but a little while after that you will see me again. I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. (John 16:19-21 NLT)
When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy. I knew then that although I suffered now, it would not last. It would be replaced with joy. Grief would be replaced with joy. The verses gave me a new burst of hope and resolution that made more tolerable the pain.
So I keep waiting for that joy of metaphorical childbirth. Also, often the labour dream God gave me comes to mind and I say, "Hey God, the dream is still true!" Because even though this healing process is emotionally and physically painful, I am delighted to realise that I really am coping and I am very much okay.
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